Present, not directing
I work one step back from everything. That means you get your day rather than a version of it arranged for a camera — the speech that went off-script, the friend who cried before the vows had even started, the ten minutes you two stole outside.
One filmmaker, all day, no crew moving furniture around. By late morning most couples have stopped thinking of me as the videographer and started treating me like one of the guests — and that is usually when the day really starts to open up.